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I Am A Sissy AB/DL Submissive/Pet
Posted On 11/01/2009 16:50:37 by petbabyamy
I am a SIssy AB/DL Submissive/Pet, a concept that nearly most of my friends from Diaperspace do not understand or even accept. I have been a Sissy and Submissive from the age of 6, in fact it is at this age where everything had all started for me. I was 6 years old when I had wonderded about girls, why they always wore pretty clothing, what it would be like to wear those clothes. Anyone that is a Sissy, a Transvestite, Trangendered or a Transsexual will be able to relate to this, no mater how old or young you were when you tried on female clothing. It is however more common so I have read and been told that experimenting with female clothing accurs even in most young boys that don't even ever end up being a Sissy etc. Anyway I remember the very first item of female clothing I first tried on, it was a pair of my sisters pretty frilly pink knickers/Rumba Panties. I loved how the knickers felt against my skin and my lvoe for frilly underwear grew from there I also wanted top wear frilly dresses too, so that was the catalyst of my being a Sissy, Also at the age of 6 I remember my parents taking me to see a wedding, nearly most of the baby girls I saw were wearing frilly dresses and I caught a glimps of one baby girls plastic frilly pants, I did not know that back then obviously. Even so I got a strong urge to be wanting to wear the same clothes as those baby girls, I also saw how much they were loved by their mothers, the love care and attention of how other females fussed over the baby girls. There was another strong sensation that struck me that day, I so much wanted to be a baby girl, obiously at that age, I did not fully undertand such thoughts and feelings. I was very obedient as a child and loved being so, again this was something I did not understand, I just knew I loved obeying others, making others happy and doing what ever they wanted me to do for them. I continued to dress in in my sisters clothes in secret of course, again only those who have shared anything simular to this will be able to understand why in secret. It is not an easy thing to explain, but I gues as children your parents almost make you feel that anything outside what they would aprove of is shameful etc, well that is how it was with my parents. I got cought wearing my sisters clothes at the age of 16 and my parents completely hated me for it, I was forced to leave home, though I did not stay homless to long. More on that perticular story in another blog. My mother began to feel guilty over the fact of my being homless she got my step dad to agree to being able to go back home, I was kept an eye on every night to make sure that I was not sneaking into my sisters bedroom and trying on her clothes. This went on for nights and nights, eventually my parents stoped keeping a check on me and I dared not try to go into my sisters bedroom. I was out one day at a shoping centre, it was a Saturday and I got my usuall pocket money, a tradition for some parents still carry out today. I loved going past the various shops in the shoping centre, it had a basement floor that had market like stalls instead of shops, most items on the baesment floor were cheeper than the rest of the chin of stores inside the rest of the shoping centre. The stall I have always like paaing during my child-hood had been the baby clothes stall, I just was always drawn there looking at the pretty dresses on display, but most of all the frilly plastic pants. I never understood why, but deep down inside wwas that wanting to be a baby girl, this pericular visit to the baby clothes stall I saw a paitr of pretty frilly pink plastic pants on display. I had the sudden and strongest urge to want to have and wear those plastic pants, I bought an identical pair in the largest size that was available. More about this event in another blog, I promise. I got home home with my pretty frilly pink plastic pants and put them on, the sensation was, forgive the term, but I felt that I was in absolute Heaven. I loved the feel of plastic against my skin, I decided that I wanted more plastic pants in my favorite colours of pink, red and white. I also wanted to start to wear nappies to, even at the age of 16 I still did not understand my wanting to be a baby girl. I began to buy nappies too, I got the wrong sise, but it made no difference, they fitted once I put on the plastic pants. I loved wearing both, but sometimes just the plastic pants alone. I soon became worried of being caught, so in my fear I finally got all of my baby stuff and put them all in a carrier bag one day and I left by the back of my parents house, I took to the back street, not wanting to take chances with my parents dustbin, I dumped the carrier bag in a dustbin that was out on the back sreet. I regretted doing that, but I did not go back for the carrier bag, I went back to wearing my sisters clothes again, but really missed wearing the nappies and frilly plastic pants, strangely enough I did get caught again, I was 18 yeaers old by this time. I was made to leave home, I left not loking back, I spent sometime out on the streeets, I went from place to place, I soon found a place to live. It was a long while before I began to live my life as a woman, why not sooner? As I said, up untill that point I had been living on the streets and my wanting to live my life as a girl only got so strong by the time I was 21 years old. I was buying female clothes, I was wanting to dress up, but I thought at the time having eanough clothes to wear was the most important thing, I had mostly bought dresses, no underwear etc, so I had a long way to go. I hated living my life and then I decided that I was going to live my life as a woman, I saw a Psychiatrist about this, I told him about of my wearing my sisters clothes. I did not say anything about wearing nappies and plastic pants, I kind of guess, a naturall instinct told me that telling a psychiatrist about that was a big no, no. Anyway the Psychiatrist was convinced that I was a Transsexual and lay down the things I needed to do in order to dress and live as a woman etc. So I began properly to buy underwear etc, but during those early moments of dressing and living as a woman, as I passed by a baby clothes store, my wanting to be a baby girl became strong again. I soon started to buy and wear plastic frilly pants and nappies, but all of those things that I was told and what I had also found out what I could about Transsexuals began to play on my mind, sooon I felt what I was doing to be wrong, I got rid of my stuff once again, I continued to to live out my life as a woman and wait for the opertunity to go to a Gender Itentity Clinic. That opertunity came, but by this time I was no where as neear to being happy with my life as I thought I would be, I was by this time 23 years old. I went to a Gender Itentity Clinic in Leeds. I was refered to that one as I living in the North WEest of Lancashire and going to London was to long a distance for me to travel, anyway... I got to the Gender Identity Clinic. I felt empty inside, incomplete somehow, but I just did not know what it was, I still did not understand my submissiveness either. I was not even aware of the term Submissive or AB, I had heard of the term Sissy, but I honestly thought at that point that a Sissy was a kind of very ultra feminine Gay Guy. I could not go through accepting the first stage of taking hormone treatment, of course I was meant to be assessed for that, but I had left the Gender identity Clinic. I had to find out why I was so unhappy, my becoming a woman physically was not going to make me happy, I can't explain it other than in my heart mind and soul I knew that the gender change was not the way. I was without answers, I watched one day on TV a talk show and on it there was an Adult Baby, after seeing one, I wondered about my self if that was what I was. As I had worn nappies and plastic frilly pants, the wanting to be a baby girl was still there inside of me. By this time I was that Iam now, 39 years old, I looked up the the wrods Adult Baby on the web and I was taken to a a very extensive list. I had soon found an information page about Infantilism, it covered everything about AB's DL's and Sissies. I had a long desire to wear frilly dresses etc, I wanted to wear ruffles and all manor of very ultra feminine clothing, all baby clothes of course. Acter carefully reading everying on that information site, I felt a sudden feeling inside of me, I finally knew in my heart and soul what I was. I was a Sissy AB/DL, The soul never lies, think of that what you wish but I had found my true self, it has been like now over seven months ago since finding out what I was, I met a freiend at Sissykiss who is an AB Submissive/Pet. My chats with her in my IM about how obedient I had been al my life and loved to do things to please others, she was convinced that I was a Submissive/Pet like her, she got me to chat with her Mistress and she too was convinced that I was a Submissive/Pet. I completely trust her word on that, this happened a few weeks after looking up the Infantile page and discovering my true self. Now I am happy and proud to call my self a Sissy AB/DL Submissive/Pet. Now I seek a Mistress or a Mommy to help me fullfil my true life, until then I continue to dress and live as a woman, I do not want to, but I know that I can not live out my life as a Sissy Baby Girl Alone.

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